I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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