real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
