I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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