apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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