Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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