just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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