if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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