He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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