Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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