Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
