so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
