drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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