So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
