some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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