she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We're too hungover to prance.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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