Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
