we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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