3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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