Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this boner is exhausting
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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