some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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