Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
