I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!