I want to walk on stilts...naked
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait