Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
