I didn't shave. On purpose
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
