God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
