Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize