Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
