i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
