I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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