ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize