brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
