Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
