I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
