Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
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Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!