this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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