He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
