normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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