just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
