She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
