You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize