My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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