Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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