I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
