we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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