I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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