piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
