Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he had hair everywhere except his balls
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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