Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize