haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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