We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize