Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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