id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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