I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
