My sheets look like a crime scene.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
