I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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