I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
