I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
