I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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