oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize