$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
